Only let those who eat Paleo try your Paleo Cookies.

Most Sunday evenings a group of CrossFit kids meet for dinner. Honestly, this is my ideal evening. I do enjoy nights out at Capitol Pub, but I prefer dinner with friends filled with great conversation.   As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,  “the ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.”

Although I enjoy eating these meals, I usually don’t provide an entree. I tried to make sweet potatoes one time, but  Kasey took my knife away in fear of me cutting myself in attempt to cook. Now I glady step aside and let the professionals do the cooking. I contribute with wine and stories from my weekends, which are usually pretty entertaining. Come out with me once and you’ll see.  
However, this Sunday was different. I was on a mission to cook, well to bake Paleo cookies.

First problem I ran into, finding the recipe online. Primal does not mean Paleo; I’ll later learn.

Confusion. My Paleo cookies needed butter. What? Butter? Also known as a dairy product, which is not hunted or gathered? So I texted my buddy Mark and asked him if I could swap butter for coconut butter, flour for almond flour and so on. He said I hope you are actually following a recipe and not just substituting ingredients.  I assured him I was.

Side note: I’m still in shock on all the swaps for dairy. Who knew coconut could be turned into milk and butter?

Moving on - I needed a bunch of ingredients. This included:

1/2 cup hazelnuts, chopped

1/2 cup pecans, chopped

1/2 cup almonds, chopped

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup butter

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup dried cranberries, chopped

1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

2 1/2 cups almond flour

2 cups unsweetened shredded coconut

I went to Central Market to buy all these Paleo ingredients .My kitchen lacked anything Erica hasn’t bought. I assure you, she isn’t buying Paleo staples. Well Central Market was holding a Mardi Gras festival, which means I got distracted by samples and forgot to shop for the cookies.

Plan B. Whole Foods. They usually don’t have as many samples, so I won’t be as easily distracted. I call Devonee to tell her my plan, but as I was talking I couldn’t find everything on my list. I located the dried cranberries, pecans, almonds, and chocolate. I swamped the hazelnuts for macadamias. I despise hazelnuts. It is for this reason that I hate Nutella. Hazelnuts taste like dirt and I don’t understand why they would ruin a chocolate spread with this unneeded addition.

An hour and a half later, I finally found all the ingredients, but one - almond flour.  Still on the phone with Dev, I was told to stop talking and focus.

Even off the phone, I could not find the almond flower. Defeated and now hungry from my shopping extravaganza, I noticed a sample guy giving away bison meatballs. He told me I look flustered as I gave him the rundown of my cookie ingredients. Sample Sam (that’s what I called him) decided to leave his post in search for almond flour. The store actually was out, or so they thought. Sample Sam found some in the back. Lucky me!

Two hours and fifty dollars later, I left the store and headed home to cook.  It seemed like a somewhat easy recipe.

·         First preheat the oven to 350. This took a while. I thought the oven was on, but no it was cleaning. I fixed it don’t worry.

·         Then beat butter (I used coconut butter) for 30 seconds in a bowl. Add in chopped cranberries and baking soda. Beat in eggs, vanilla, and almond flour. Stir in coconut, chocolate chips, and nuts. Mix until smooth. This did not mix until smooth, the ingredients weren’t clumpy together.

·         Place parchment paper on a baking sheet. Put spoonfuls of cookie mixture on tray. When I did this, all the nuts, chocolate and cranberries fell out of the dough. I stuck them back in with my fingers. Don’t worry, I washed my hands…um I think.

·         Bake for 15 minutes, flipping halfway through. Let cool (because they're pretty crumbly when still hot.)

After I took the first batch out of the oven, I was traumatized. The cookies looked disgusting and even tasted worse. You should want to eat a cookie right when it comes out of the oven, not want to destroy it.

I was so bummed. Dinner was in a few hours and I failed. I begged Erica to eat one and give me her honest opinion. As a good roommate, she put the morsel in her mouth. As she chomped down, a look of shock and confusion crossed her face.

“I can taste the coconut,” she said trying to chew and smile at the same time.

“Well, are they good?” I asked.

“Umm, I’m going to finish it.”

“Yes, but you should WANT to finish it,” I argued.  Erica kept going to another room.

“Are you throwing it away?!” I questioned

“No, I’ll finish it. It’s not horrible.”

“Well, if you came home and was craving a cookie and saw these, would you eat them?”

“No, I don’t think I would put that in my mouth again.”

I decided to bring the cookies to dinner anyway. I wanted to learn and also know what I did wrong. I warned the group first about my cookie mishap. Ryan didn’t care. He grabbed a cookie and surprisingly didn’t make that same expression Erica did. After chewing, he said not bad; I like the nuts.

Mark snatched one and said, “Yeah Ash, this is how Paleo cookies are supposed to taste.”

They are supposed to taste like chalk with hints of chocolate. Really? Alright, sure, I’ll take their word on it.

Honestly, I didn’t care. My Paleo group loved my cookies! I called Erica and gave her the good news.

Devonee was the only one who didn’t fall in love with my cookies. In her defense or my cookie’s defense, her first bite was not good. The cookie lacked chocolate chunks, cranberries and nuts – the only thing that made them edible.

I wanted her to try them again. Walking back inside and to my astonishment, the cookies were gone - all of them! Dev was a little agitated. Who can blame her? I would be upset too, if I missed out on the best Paleo cookie ever made.

I may have exaggerated a little, but this group wouldn’t eat just anything. Well, that’s a lie. They pretty much would.