I cooked Paleo last night. You read that right.

Y’all - I cooked last night. Now this is not some minor feat. The only items kept in my fridge are ice cream and whatever meal my roommate cooks. So if food is the way to a man’s heart, I sure hope he likes take-out or I will be single for a while.

Last night, I decided to cook a healthy, Paleo meal. For those of you who don’t know what Paleo is let me enlighten you. Basically, you eat like a caveman.  In other words, you eat whole, unprocessed foods: meat, eggs, seafood, non-starchy vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds. They say you can eat ANYTHING that can be hunted or gathered.  If you do Crossfit, you have heard of Paleo.

After work, I headed to my favorite place in Dallas, Central Market. Audrey Hepburn can have Tiffany’s but at least when I get the “mean reds,” I won’t be hungry. (If you haven’t seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s, you won’t get this. Also, if you haven’t seen it, rent it. It’s a classic)

I decided to make a healthy fish dish with salad and vegetables. Ingredients needed: acorn squash, onions, tilapia, spinach, coconut oil, pecans, garlic, and asparagus. Out of all these items, I came home with four.

One: I love Central Market, but trouble happened with their many produce options. I was at a loss with the 12 varieties of squash. So, I decided that squash would be off the menu.

Two: Coconut Oil. Really? There are so many different kinds. Virgin. Slutty. What’s the difference? Apparently, no one in my phonebook knew either, so I decided to go with the wholesome kind. (Better safe than sorry.)

Three: Tilapia. They didn’t have it! It’s out of season. Who knew? I settled on a light white fish from Japan. I picked Japan because they eat their fish raw. It had to be good. When I told the guy at the counter this logic, he asked if I ever cooked before.

Four: I lost my car. No joke. I blame it on the stress of grocery shopping. Twenty minutes and a phone call to Erica later, I found it.

On my way home from the store, I called my buddy Mark in a panic. I listed all the ingredients I had and basically he came up with a make-shift recipe over the phone. Mark is used to frantic calls from me, but usually they deal with men and not food.

We decided on this recipe: salad, baked asparagus, and fish sautéed with onions. Pressure was on tonight – I was cooking for Erica, my roommate and most domestic person in the city, and Devonee, a phenomenal chef that cooks better than most 5 star restaurants.

Here goes nothing!                                                          

Asparagus: I preheated the oven to 375° F. Then I lightly greased a baking sheet with olive oil. I rolled the asparagus in the leftover coconut oil and seasoned it with salt, pepper and balsamic vinaigrette. I’m not sure why I added that, but it was pretty damn good. Put in the oven and bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until the house seems smoky.

Fish: I sautéed garlic, onions and spinach in coconut oil, added lemon and set aside. Then I spread the coconut oil over the skillet and seasoned my filets with sea salt and pepper. I grilled each fillet for about 4-5 minutes on each side on med-high heat until it was flakey white. Then I poured my sautéed garlic, onion and spinach mixture on top. The fillets improved as I cooked. It’s kind of like making  pancakes. The first one, you always flip too soon and it’s just not as good as the rest.

 

Salad: Easy. I added spinach, dried cranberries, walnuts and tomatoes and mixed it with a balsamic raspberry dressing. (That may not have been Paleo!)

That was it. A pretty simple recipe and my group ate everything off of their plate or they were just being nice!

I celebrated this achievement with a bowl of ice cream that Erica made. Told you she was domestic. And no the ice cream was not Paleo, haven’t jumped on that bandwagon completely.